Total love

Posted on August 10, 2010 by Michelle

The following is from Steve’s parents-in-law, Rob and Richenda Van Leeuwen.  10 August, 2010.

Dear Steve,

Two days back in Bethesda, two sleepless nights, living with the hollowness that missing you has left in us. Our week with you at Harborview was what I have called “precious time,” for two reasons.

First and foremost, you made it so for us. Even as you struggle, with God and hope at your sides, on the journey and its hurdles ahead of you, there is a rarely beautiful aura that emanates from you and inspires and lifts up all those who love you and, in our various ways, try to help. This is truly precious.

The second reason is that you remind us, in all the time we had the gift of spending with you, of the unmatched joy that lies in total love and giving to someone other than ourselves. Although the idea is familiar, we need to be reminded of its powerful reality. Our time with you did that in an all-pervasive way. It liberated us from all things less important in this life and brought out in sharp relief those that are really important.

And so, you see, counter-intuitive as this may be, these life-altering circumstances can perhaps be seen in the grace of God as altering us all toward a better state. The only thing I can remember in this light that comes somewhere near this is my year in the Vietnam War that, in its darkest horrors, at times brought out the finest qualities of humankind.

You are an extarordinarily fine person, Steve. Kind, courageous, loving, compassionate and determined to do all that is in your power to recover from your injury. Within you there is a wide, sunlit space that does not and will not yield to the darkness of despondency, let alone despair. In that space, every day we were with you, we found the quiet smiles and laughter, the light of humor that lifts our spirit and cannot be snuffed out.

Even though we are now on the other coast, there is no geography of love. It envelops you even at times when you may feel alone.

We admire you, we miss you and we love you, your other half Michelle, and Aidan, Jude and Zephyr (zucchini).

- Rob and Richenda

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  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PZLHORWAZ6NMJYHTNSHII3O2AA Amelita

    What a testimony of faith and love. God is really present in your whole family: from the parents of Michelle, too, and enhanced and completed in Steve and Michele. We all learn a lot from all of you.
    AMELITA GUEVARAl

  • Fred Davis

    Hi Steve and Michelle, (and boys)
    Just realized it has been some time since I posted a note. I wanted you to know that in no way means that I haven’t been lifting your names before our Heavenly Fathers throne of Grace. I feel a special bond with you having experienced in some small part, some of the realities you are facing. As I pray, I give thanks to God that, in spite of tragic injuries, the spirit of grace, love and spiritual depth shine through you both so clearly. At the same time I know what it feels like to be in the dark places of fear, of wondering about the future, of loss, and of grief. One of the things that I pray for you both (and it was something that Judy and I had to have help with) was to own those feelings when they came rather than try to stuff them deep inside. Every once in a while someone would have to tell me, “It’s okay – you don’t have to be pastor all the time.” Let people minister to you. Own your feelings. It’s all right to feel what you feel. The Lord is the shepherd of the dark valleys as well as the mountain tops. May you feel his loving, sustaining presence in both places as you travel this journey.

    We love you.
    IN GRACE
    Fred

  • Tiffany Megargee

    So beautiful… Rob and Richenda. Your missing Steve is so palpable in your words and I can feel it with you. Looking forward to seeing you when you come again. We are all so blessed by that light place inside Steve… Love to you-Tiffany

  • Sharon Black

    Beautifully said you two. I know exactly what you mean. Be well, Sharon

  • Ammiarmas

    This letter is precious, awesome in honesty and truthfulness, very encouraging.

  • Helen

    Next to my bible, every morning and at various times during the day, it has become my habit to check my laptop for updates from the website about Pastor Steve. Indeed, this experience has not just altered Pastor Steve's life but many, many other souls around the world, like me. I have never paid special attention to my toes and fingers. In the past, I made sure nails are cut to the edge and clean. And that's just about it. But now, I kiss them, and I wiggle them all the time, and I whisper to God “thank you for these little toes and fingers!” . I remember Pastor Steve's sermon when he gets to the shower, it is his habit to wash his feet first — now, I do the same. I want to let the cold water run through my legs and say a short prayer, “Thank you Lord for Pastor Steve, through him, I pay more attention to these little things in my body. Even more important, I now also know with different depth and meaning that we really do not own our next breath and I must live as though it is my last, to be forever be grateful for the very life we breathe . . . I now pay more attention to the legs and to the rest of my body. And my faith strengthened witnessing God's love unfold, inch by inch through Pastor Steve. . . I have no doubt God will use Pastor Steve with greater and deeper impact on all of us . . . just watch, trust and believe like a child. The lessons we learn through Pastor Steve — Life will be more meaningful and purposeful . . . Helen – UCM

  • Helen

    Next to my bible, every morning and at various times during the day, it has become my habit to check my laptop for updates from the website about Pastor Steve. Indeed, this experience has not just altered Pastor Steve's life but many, many other souls around the world, like me. I have never paid special attention to my toes and fingers. In the past, I made sure nails are cut to the edge and clean. And that's just about it. But now, I kiss them, and I wiggle them all the time, and I whisper to God “thank you for these little toes and fingers!” . I remember Pastor Steve's sermon when he gets to the shower, it is his habit to wash his feet first — now, I do the same. I want to let the cold water run through my legs and say a short prayer, “Thank you Lord for Pastor Steve, through him, I pay more attention to these little things in my body. Even more important, I now also know with different depth and meaning that we really do not own our next breath and I must live as though it is my last, to be forever be grateful for the very life we breathe . . . I now pay more attention to the legs and to the rest of my body. And my faith strengthened witnessing God's love unfold, inch by inch through Pastor Steve. . . I have no doubt God will use Pastor Steve with greater and deeper impact on all of us . . . just watch, trust and believe like a child. The lessons we learn through Pastor Steve — Life will be more meaningful and purposeful . . . Helen – UCM

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/KVXJMO6VUJE5MDRGIZU5SSIXJA Julie

    What beautiful thoughts and words from your parents Michelle. We are all being blessed in this circumstance. .. For the love of Christ.. Julie/UCM

  • Brad

    More dazzling clarity, riveted to radiant God-born love, expressed so beautifully, I’m staggered and brought to my knees. I’m speechless, and my heart explodes in awe of how God manifests and saturates those whose love is too large, too central, joyous, and robust to falter. Instead. it swells to engulf and re-contextualize tragedy, as it were. Outstanding families!

  • Cbsample

    What a lovely, helpful comment. I can feel the love and joy in the battle from here in Maine, every time I read these updates. What an encouragement tome not to give up in my own minor afflictions. God bless you all. Chris Sample [ friend of Sarah Reid Hedberg ]

  • Naomi Diaz & family

    Who would not be inspired to enjoy living, if you hear these words. What an inspiration. Yes, indeed “there is no geography of love”. Pastor Steve, you are so blessed to have the love of Rob & Richenda. I am very sure this goes a long, long way for you. God is so good. Praise Him.