22 June 2010, 11p.m.
Dear friends and family,
It has been a long day, and in many ways a very, very good day, but I am tired and will keep this short. Steve’s progress is steadily improving, however the things that make my heart leap are measured in the smallest of increments, yet miles for Steve. I spent most of the day with my love. By this I mean that as soon as they let me stay I never left his side except to let the nurses attend to him or in order to scarf down a quick meal – for me, pure joy! Steve is conscious enough to indicate that he wants his hand held and his head rubbed, which I did with such a sense of gratitude, finally able to provide some very small relief to my beloved. He remains in pain and disoriented, with many groans and crying out. He is also terribly distressed to have caused his loved ones such pain, which in turn is distressing to us. His words remain few (how in the world did he press out that whole phrase earlier?!) and for the most part he only engages when spoken to. He knows his name, my name, where he lives and for how long, but he has trouble with the date – month or year. I spent the day in the joy and strength of finally being with him – what a gift! However I find now that I am home that I am also processing his incessant pain and crying out. Even now he is a beautiful, beautiful man, but he is also profoundly broken.
Please pray for healing not just of his body but of his mind and spirit. He is processing the accident and its consequences with great anguish. I am speaking calming, loving, simple phrases over him continuously. The verses that spoke to me today come from the apostle Paul: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. … For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such deadly peril and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.” 2Cor1:3-5,8-11.
Surgery may still occur tomorrow however we remain uncertain. Please pray for wisdom for the doctors as they make that decision.
I also ask for prayer for the short and long term care of Steve. Steve may be transferred to rehab within a week, depending on his progress. We have considered many institutions and have narrowed it down to two, though this may change – Seattle and Columbus, OH. We are weighing a multitude of factors including the excellence of care, communal support, the welfare of the children, and family among many. These decisions have possible longer term consequences and there is as yet no brilliant clarity. For this major decision, I request your prayers.
With love and the deepest gratitude for your ongoing support,
Michelle