From Michelle. 30 November, 2010.
Dear friends and family,
The holiday season is upon us, heralded this year in a most unusual fashion by snow! The week of Thanksgiving found us snowed in, the children home from school for days. The boys took full advantage of the first snow they can remember, with scraped together snowballs from the meager snow supply, and several adventures with Dale, our caregiver, who kindly took them for the kind of boyish romps Steve would have supplied in the past. Zephyr stayed outside long enough to experiment with the cold, but opted for the more familiar warmth found indoors. Even Steve braved the cold and slippery conditions briefly in his chair, though he still has difficulty regulating his body temperature. We all enjoyed hunkering down for some very slow and cozy days in the comfort of our home, with abundant supplies of hot chocolate, fires in the fireplace and other wintry delights. By the time Thanksgiving came around we were ready for a break from our snow-induced isolation, and thankfully a stream of visitors answered the call! Thank you to all who brought food and company to us! We were awash in genuine thanksgiving this year!
It has been far too long, but happily, there is much to report. In the past few days we have experienced another major shift in Steve’s healing process, which greatly impacts our quality of life. Steve has shifted more and more toward using a walker. Where in the past he would walk for perhaps thirty minutes out of an entire 24 hour day, Steve now most often grabs his walker or his manual chair around the house. For two whole days this week, Steve stayed out of his power chair entirely. His confidence and strength have grown so much that we have now done several outings without any wheelchair at all. A Harborview therapy appointment, church on Sunday and a movie date were all accomplished with little more than a walker and a whole lot of effort and joy!
Without a wheelchair life becomes much more normalized. Steve can sit in a normal car seat, he can ride an escalator, he can access public bathrooms more easily, and he can sit in church pews, movie theater seats and in restaurant booths. Of course, getting up and down from them remains a challenge, but so far we have managed!
We have often joked during this period that we are practicing for old age. The patience amidst the slow pace of life, the endurance through the body’s break downs, and the humbling dependence on others is a good rehearsal for our twilight years. The other day at Harborview, Steve saw an elderly man, perhaps in his eighties, walking with a walker and commented that he looked like him. “No, honey,” I replied, “he looks better than you!” Still, for us, this slow and awkward ambling short distances from car to destination is like the euphoric sprint at the end of a long race. For us, the freedom and relative speed and spontaneity with which we are more and more able to participate in life is like that burst of energy that comes when the finish line comes into sight. Make no mistake, the end is still far off, and yet, and yet, we can taste the promise of it as Steve stretches his limbs to walk, ever faster and further.
Much remains to be tested. Steve’s fingers remain limited in both strength and function. He still endures his long morning routine and requires help getting bathed and dressed. His sensation remains highly compromised from the chest down. But we also see so much progress. From the middle of the race, the scenery has improved drastically. Many amazing professionals have also spontaneously come out of the woodwork to run alongside us. This has been God’s amazing provision and choreography as Steve’s many outpatient therapies will soon be canceled due to budget cuts for Medicaid beginning in January. We are daily amazed by the astonishing generosity of people who drive many miles to come to us and serve us with their gifts.
And so with Thanksgiving behind us and the hope of grace born among us ahead, we are bracketed by both gratitude and expectation. All the promises of God find their “yes” in that babe in the manger. And much like the babe, God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. His grace has been sufficient, and even abundantly present, day by day. For this, and for you, we are grateful!
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thess. 5:16-18.
With love,
Michelle