Steve Ruetschle

Dear friends and family,

For the first time I am writing you not hunched over someone’s iPhone but sitting upright on an early Sunday morning typing on a brand new, beautiful laptop given to me by Steve’s brother Mike, who was with him during the accident. This is just one of so many wonderful gestures of support from the amazing Ruetschle family who are surrounding and carrying me as if I had been born to them.

I have been reading so many of your emails and postings, weeping over the love and support that is flowing out for Steve, and for me. The prayer support is phenomenal, and as I think about it I wonder that there may be as many as 10,000 people praying for Steve, between church communities, prayer chains and the many lives Steve touched personally. I am in awe and know that God’s spirit surely hovers over, beside and below Steve as he fights this truly terrible battle.

His brother Mike tells me that during the accident, both as he was lying in the ditch where they found him and as he was being transported to the helicopter, in intense pain, Steve was not only crying out to Jesus but praising him. He was blessing those who were helping, still and ever a pastor. This is Steve, this is the man that I love.

There will be bad days and good days, but yesterday was a good day. In answer to your prayers, Steve was able to receive a feeding tube yesterday. I am not sure when and if he was actually fed, but until then he had not received anything except fluids, and this will hopefully provide both nourishment and energy to him as he heals, while also being an indication that his swelling is going down.

Also, he has been fully weaned off his blood pressure medication and his blood pressure remains stable. This is HUGE as blood pressure stabilization can be tricky in spinal chord injuries.

Steve also extended his wrist a bit during a visit yesterday, which shows some life in his lower forearm muscles. Since his lower arm function is in question, this was a wonderful, hopeful sign, even though it is still a c6 motion, not below his injury; it was a new type of movement and we are grateful. In addition, his nurse found him trying to get his breathing tube out. While this was distressing to her, we all silently praised God that he had managed to get his arm up that high under such deep sedation! Unfortunately, it did occur right after a visit, so on our next visit he was more deeply sedated and we had to be more careful to not bring him too sharply into consciousness, as he then can respond with anxiety and distress over his breathing tube.

Finally, my visit with the kids went better than I could have imagined. So far, they have been with Steve’s wonderful parents, but of course, John and Darlene also need to support their son and be by his side, so they are, as we speak, headed to the wonderful beaches of South Carolina surrounded by caring, sweet cousins, aunt and uncle. They piled into the guest center where I met them surrounded by loving relatives, talking and playing. While they were clearly happy to see me, even little Zephyr showed no tears or signs of any stress whatsoever related to us having been apart. I had agonized, especially, about whether to part from Zephyr for an entire week, but as I watched him playing contentedly with his cousins, a peace enveloped me, and I knew they were exactly where they needed to be. Departure was fluid, as Zephyr left with a hand in his brother’s hand and the other comfortably squeezing his cousin Megan.

Please pray for the older boys. Jude is anxious to see his Dad and wonders why he cannot yet. Aidan, while he asks very few questions, tried to hide a few tears from me, and has clearly picked up more on the gravity of the situation. I was able to stay positive and strong for them, and I could not be more grateful for how they are doing, and how our visit went. Again, I am more grateful than I can express to Mark and Laura and her extended family for including my boys on their annual vacation, not only freeing me up to love Steve, but giving them a truly awesome experience and set of memories during this time.

I have become, especially in recent years, such a firm believer in prayers, and again, I weep over all of the love and prayer support going on out there for Steve. Yesterday, many of your prayers were answered in truly tremendous ways. Hope is beginning to rise in me, even as I also prepare for the worst, with a hundred possibilities in between. Much is yet unknown, but much is also yet possible. And all is possible in Christ.

Please continue to pray. Our immediate concern is over Steve’s temperature which is a little bit high for a spinal chord trauma patient. Please pray that his temperature returns to normal and remains steady. Anything interfering with his surgery on Monday means more time with the breathing tube and therefore more time in great discomfort and deep sedation. If surgery proceeds as scheduled, this will be a major landmark in Steve’s healing process. This will be a complicated 4-6 hour procedure. Of course, we pray that Steve’s vital signs remain strong and steady, that the surgery is a raging success and that Steve heals rapidly. He will not only be receiving a spinal fusion, with a great deal of hardware, but a bone grafting. Please pray that the bone grafting takes well. This will be an especially difficult time as whatever gains Steve has made will likely be lost post surgery. Due to the swelling around the spine from surgery, what little movement he has regained thus far will be compromised temporarily. His breathing will be ventilated again. He will look swollen and disfigured due to his position during surgery. Please pray not only for Steve’s amazing recovery but for his family as well, as we manage what we hope will be only temporary setbacks.

I cannot thank you all enough. Please, please, keep your prayers and messages coming. Steve’s family has been reading my Facebook page and now all of us are able to access your caring bridge messages. Not only are we deeply encouraged by your prayers and thoughts, but you are creating and shifting Steve’s reality for the good in very real ways thanks to your prayers.

On behalf of his family as well we give praise for each and every one of you.

Steve wrote a song based on the following verse: Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory… Eph 3:20

Michelle

Dear friends and family,

For the first time I am writing you not hunched over someone’s iPhone but sitting upright on an early Sunday morning typing on a brand new, beautiful laptop given to me by Steve’s brother Mike, who was with him during the accident. This is just one of so many wonderful gestures of support from the amazing Ruetschle family who are surrounding and carrying me as if I had been born to them.

I have been reading so many of your emails and postings, weeping over the love and support that is flowing out for Steve, and for me. The prayer support is phenomenal, and as I think about it I wonder that there may be as many as 10,000 people praying for Steve, between church communities, prayer chains and the many lives Steve touched personally. I am in awe and know that God’s spirit surely hovers over, beside and below Steve as he fights this truly terrible battle.

His brother Mike tells me that during the accident, both as he was lying in the ditch where they found him and as he was being transported to the helicopter, in intense pain, Steve was not only crying out to Jesus but praising him. He was blessing those who were helping, still and ever a pastor. This is Steve, this is the man that I love.

There will be bad days and good days, but yesterday was a good day. In answer to your prayers, Steve was able to receive a feeding tube yesterday. I am not sure when and if he was actually fed, but until then he had not received anything except fluids, and this will hopefully provide both nourishment and energy to him as he heals, while also being an indication that his swelling is going down.

Also, he has been fully weaned off his blood pressure medication and his blood pressure remains stable. This is HUGE as blood pressure stabilization can be tricky in spinal chord injuries.

Steve also extended his wrist a bit during a visit yesterday, which shows some life in his lower forearm muscles. Since his lower arm function is in question, this was a wonderful, hopeful sign, even though it is still a c6 motion, not below his injury; it was a new type of movement and we are grateful. In addition, his nurse found him trying to get his breathing tube out. While this was distressing to her, we all silently praised God that he had managed to get his arm up that high under such deep sedation! Unfortunately, it did occur right after a visit, so on our next visit he was more deeply sedated and we had to be more careful to not bring him too sharply into consciousness, as he then can respond with anxiety and distress over his breathing tube.

Finally, my visit with the kids went better than I could have imagined. So far, they have been with Steve’s wonderful parents, but of course, John and Darlene also need to support their son and be by his side, so they are, as we speak, headed to the wonderful beaches of South Carolina surrounded by caring, sweet cousins, aunt and uncle. They piled into the guest center where I met them surrounded by loving relatives, talking and playing. While they were clearly happy to see me, even little Zephyr showed no tears or signs of any stress whatsoever related to us having been apart. I had agonized, especially, about whether to part from Zephyr for an entire week, but as I watched him playing contentedly with his cousins, a peace enveloped me, and I knew they were exactly where they needed to be. Departure was fluid, as Zephyr left with a hand in his brother’s hand and the other comfortably squeezing his cousin Megan.

Please pray for the older boys. Jude is anxious to see his Dad and wonders why he cannot yet. Aidan, while he asks very few questions, tried to hide a few tears from me, and has clearly picked up more on the gravity of the situation. I was able to stay positive and strong for them, and I could not be more grateful for how they are doing, and how our visit went. Again, I am more grateful than I can express to Mark and Laura and her extended family for including my boys on their annual vacation, not only freeing me up to love Steve, but giving them a truly awesome experience and set of memories during this time.

I have become, especially in recent years, such a firm believer in prayers, and again, I weep over all of the love and prayer support going on out there for Steve. Yesterday, many of your prayers were answered in truly tremendous ways. Hope is beginning to rise in me, even as I also prepare for the worst, with a hundred possibilities in between. Much is yet unknown, but much is also yet possible. And all is possible in Christ.

Please continue to pray. Our immediate concern is over Steve’s temperature which is a little bit high for a spinal chord trauma patient. Please pray that his temperature returns to normal and remains steady. Anything interfering with his surgery on Monday means more time with the breathing tube and therefore more time in great discomfort and deep sedation. If surgery proceeds as scheduled, this will be a major landmark in Steve’s healing process. This will be a complicated 4-6 hour procedure. Of course, we pray that Steve’s vital signs remain strong and steady, that the surgery is a raging success and that Steve heals rapidly. He will not only be receiving a spinal fusion, with a great deal of hardware, but a bone grafting. Please pray that the bone grafting takes well. This will be an especially difficult time as whatever gains Steve has made will likely be lost post surgery. Due to the swelling around the spine from surgery, what little movement he has regained thus far will be compromised temporarily. His breathing will be ventilated again. He will look swollen and disfigured due to his position during surgery. Please pray not only for Steve’s amazing recovery but for his family as well, as we manage what we hope will be only temporary setbacks.

I cannot thank you all enough. Please, please, keep your prayers and messages coming. Steve’s family has been reading my Facebook page and now all of us are able to access your caring bridge messages. Not only are we deeply encouraged by your prayers and thoughts, but you are creating and shifting Steve’s reality for the good in very real ways thanks to your prayers.

On behalf of his family as well we give praise for each and every one of you.

Steve wrote a song based on the following verse: Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory… Eph 3:20

Michelle

We will soon be starting a fund for financial contributions.

We all know this will be a long road; of immense suffering, desire, and hope. And it is simply the case that Steve will not be on this road alone. In our own way we too will all be on a healing journey with him. In a different way, we too have been wounded and broken with him. And one way that our healing journey can be made tangible will be through our generosity.

Generosity is healing, and there will be many healing opportunities to come! Stay tuned for this new website info, and ways to give.

I know from Miche’s tears that you are ALL loved by the entire family. Know that. Every tear and prayer is precious to her. When it’s all said and done, really… what else is there… but love?

I just spoke with David van Leeuwen, Michelle’s brother. David is an MD (pediatrician) living in California.

David said, “It’s hard to explain, but he looks far stronger than I expected him to. My first impression was one of immense strength. It’s difficult to articulate. Steve has good skin tone, and is responsive to us in the room, but there is something more… he has a clear inner strength. I was really encouraged. Steve was responsive to us in the room. In fact, when I spoke to him he was able to raise his left arm to where his hand could rest on the breathing tube. He still does not have fine motor movement in his hands, but this was a good sign. It terrified the nurses, however, because he almost extabated himself. The tube is painful. He fights the sedation and fights the tube and clearly wants to be with us and respond to us. The challenge is to keep him calm.”

David went on to explain that Steve has been breathing on his own all day. He is on motor ventilation (“pressure support”) that supports his own breathing but does not give him breaths that aren’t his own. This is a good sign; it shows that his respiratory drive is intact. A tracheotomy to aid in future breathing is still a possibility, but he does not have one now. He is completely off blood pressure pills (used to keep his blood pressure up). This is a big step.

The staff was able to place his oral gastric tube (feeding tube) today. This is also important because they can better manage pain control with oral medication, as well as provide him with oral nourishment.

David has gone through the surgery notes of the neurologist, and Steve’s spinal cord injury is described as “near complete”. This is a medical term; categorizing the severity of the injury. There are more details regarding the (ASIA) grading of the injury that we’ll provide at a later date; we’re still collecting accurate information from hospital staff.

The medical news so far is encouraging; however it’s important to have in mind that the surgery on Monday with necessarily result in a step backwards. There is currently a lot of swelling in the spinal cord itself and this swelling complicates the neurological functions and findings. At this stage it is difficult to pin down accurate prognostic information. The surgery on Monday is extensive; will result in more swelling; and Steve will take a step backwards. From that point forward Steve will truly begin the process towards recovery.

Prayers are also requested as they make decisions around which rehabilitation facility to choose; there are multiple options and they want to make the best decision possible for Steve’s long term rehabilitation.

Lastly, the three boys are at the hospital right this evening. They are passing through on their way to the beach. Steve’s family has been taking wonderful care of them, and prayers are requested that the boys will be able to enjoy their time at the beach and not worry about mom and dad.

More to come about the Monday surgery, as well as plans to set up a fund for financial contributions.

- Sean

I spoke w/ Michelle at length today. She is holding up, grateful for sleep, for support and prayer… and of course she is also immersed in so many emotions. Her heart is for Steve, and the boys. The boys continue to be well cared for.

On the medical side, Michelle had an additional update she wanted to get out:

“Additional prayer requests for Steve. I saw Steve this a.m. Much the same, however his temperature is slightly elevated, sputum a bit tan, and white blood count slightly elevated. No cause for alarm yet but please pray for protection against infection and that he would remain stable and strong for surgery on Monday. Also they have been unable to insert feeding tube yet due to swelling and position of his neck in the brace. Nutrition will make Steve stronger. There is some small sign that swelling has gone down a bit, so praying that they can insert tube successfully today. With thanks always for your prayers.”

Dearest friends and family,

With the help of a pill I managed to sleep eight hours last night and was so glad for the respite from the endless tears and difficult decisons.

The vigil will continue today as Steve remains deeply sedated. On most visits Steve lies virtually unresponsive with only the clicks, whirs and beeps of the machines giving life to the room. Only two or three are allowed in his room at a time. We hold his hands which at the moment do not respond to our touch and we stroke his hair which he seems to like.

At times we are surprised by signs that he is listening- a small nod yes or no, a lifting of the eyebrows. These more cognitive states are often followed by discomfort however as he struggles to breathe. He arches and shakes though he is secured to the bed with straps, and it is truly terrible to watch. The nurse then sedates him further or gives him more pain medication and he relaxes.

At other times he looks so beautifully peaceful lying there. The best visits are those when he is somewhat lucid and also calm. Though he does not open his eyes, we see him responding to our presence and we sense Steve’s beautiful spirit engaging with us.

It struck me last night that only 24 hours had passed. Steve’s brothers and sisters who are with me would agree that it feels like a week since that fateful moment. Then, I am encouraged. Steve had a good step forward yesterday as he is now breathing far more independently through the tube.

We wept with joy at what was finally some truly good news. So much more will occur as we move forward. Inevitably there will be setbacks but if the surgery goes well on Monday morning, we will then truly and finally be on a road of recovery. And if anyone can be the one to defy all scientific predictions and norms, it is Steve, carried by your prayers and God’s mighty hands.

Please continue to pray for steve to be able to beathe comfortably and independently. Also, while his blood pressure is now stable, they would like to wean him from the bloodpressure medication. Please pray that this goes well, and he remains stable. Of course, we all that his spine continues to heal and that Steve remains free from any and all infections and complications.

On Monday morning Steve is scheduled for his second surgery. The doctors will be welding the back of the damaged area of his spine to provide further stabilization and bone growth. This is the next major hurdle. We are praying for amazing surgical success and a quick recovery.

While ther are admittedly endless tears, I know that through Christ all things are possible. We are truly at the very foot of the mountain we will climb but if anyone can defy all expectIons and logic it is Steve, carried ever onward on your wonderful prayers and in God’s mighty hands.

Please continue to pray for Steve to breathe comfortably and independently. Of course, we ask always for your prayers for his spine to heal beautifully; that steve might have a truly amazing recovery.

Please pray especially hard for Steve on Monday morning east coast time as he undergoes surgery. Steve’s parents will be visiting with him for the first time this afternoon. Please pray for peace strength for them.

Our boys know very little at this point and I also ask for your blessings on their little souls that they would be happy with their caregivers and at peace without their mama and papa. I will need wisdom on how to continue to care for them through this process.

In all things we give God glory as he watches over us. With armsfull of love and gratitude!

Michelle

Hello all,

To those of you around the world who are new to the email list here… please read from the bottom up for a raw account of events/details as they occurred.

We will soon be setting up a website where all updates will be posted… stay tuned for that. Here is the latest update:

As Michelle discussed in her update below, a primary concern over the last days has been Steve’s breathing function and ability. As Steve’s brother Mark characterized it today, Steve continues to breathe through a tube but the good news is that his breathing ability has improved and he is now breathing on his own. This is a positive sign. I know Miche was able to visit again briefly with Steve this evening. My sense is that the truncated visits are very difficult… she just wants to be with him.

Steve currently has some feeling but no movement from his chest to his feet. He has partial use of arms/biceps; no fine motor movement in his fingers.

Steve will have a second surgery Monday, the 21st. This will be a follow-up procedure to the initial surgery he had on Thursday. It can last 4-6 hours and was characterized as more routine and less life-threatening than the original surgery.

Thank you–each and every single one of you–for your prayers, tears, kindness, and love.

One other thought: I have known from personal experience that when a life-altering tragedy occurs there is a major influx of attention, care, and love in the initial weeks. In some ways, the initial trauma is almost easier to journey through because of this… there are more people there to help carry you. However, as the slow, hard months wear on that is often when the real immensity of the experience begins to weigh. 3…6…9 months out… that is often when it is the most difficult, and unfortunately that is often when so many around you go back to “normal” life when you know life will never be “normal” again… at least not in the way that it was.

We all know Steve and Miche’s immense ability to endure and create goodness. I would never challenge that. Nor would I ever challenge how we will all respond and help care for them in the coming months and even years. I simply offer this as a word of encouragement to everyone. I know we all want to move heaven and earth to help them right now… and many of you have expressed feeling helpless in your grief. All to say–because there is a long road ahead, there will be many opportunities to tangibly show our love to them in the days ahead, and to give back to this family who has in so many profound ways blessed and given so much to us all.

With love, and endurance,

Sean

There have been a variety of questions and just to make sure everyone has the same info regarding details.

On Thurs, June 18, Steve was in a motorcycle accident while on a motorcycle trip with his younger brother, Mike. They left Ohio on Wednesday and were in North Carolina when the accident occurred. Mike was behind Steve but did not see the accident. It’s not yet entirely clear how the crash happened. There was no apparent involvement from other vehicles on the road. The road was paved, and clear. It’s possible the crash happened when Steve was trying to navigate a corner. Mike came upon Steve with the motorcycle wrecked and Steve lying in a ditch. Medics on the scene made the decision to life-flight him to the nearest trauma hospital, in Asheville, North Carolina.

Michelle is in Asheville, with Steve’s older and younger brother. The kids are being taken care of by family in Dayton, Ohio.

Outpourings or prayer and requests to help are coming from all over. I know it’s hard–for all of us–to not have definitive answers or to not have anything tangible to offer.

It is clear that whatever the long term prognosis, this will be a long road for all of them. The question of support will, I think, be a question of long term support from the family and extended community as time goes on.

Right now Miche’s focus is on prayer, pouring out all her love to Steve, and getting clear on his long term prognosis… and that will simply take time… His spinal cord is still likely in shock; he has another surgery in a week; he needs to heal from both surgeries; and then rehab. My sense is that questions of definitive prognosis will unfold over the next several weeks.

And… a 10% chance of regaining function in his legs is still 10%. Steve is young, healthy, strong, and has a shot.

I do not want to offer cheap words of comfort… but we all know that Steve and Miche both have an extraordinary ability to create surprising goodness out of tragedy; they have a deep and living faith that will serve them in the coming weeks.

May the God of all comfort also be with each of you as you’re praying, grieving this news, and hoping for Steve.

- Sean

Dear Friends and Family,

First of all, thank you so much for your love and prayers. These are and will be what sustain us on what promises to be a very long journey. I so long to talk to each of you individually, but at the moment all of my thoughts and concentration are on Steve, and frankly I am not sure how to put into words the spectacle of his current condition.

For now, the greatest prayer request is for Steve’s breathing. The nerves affecting his chest area are traumatized, whether temporarily or permanently we do not know. The inflammation in his neck from the surgery and trauma are further obstructing his breathing. He was therefore re-intubated last night. While it is a relief to know that he is getting sufficient oxygen, the tube is uncomfortable and somewhat alarming to him. A nurse compared it to “breathing through a straw”. They are therefore keeping him quite deeply sedated. While last night we talked a bit and he was able to nod, today talking to him woke him too much and he began to struggle against the tube. So we mostly kept quiet and even refrained from touching him. Most likely they will keep him sedated this way for most of this week, as he will have to be intubated for the next surgery, and taking it out and putting it back in may be too traumatic.

So we are simply keeping vigil. Visiting hours are excruciatingly short, just fifteen minutes this morning and small half hour increments throughout the day. No children allowed. Leaving is for me the worst. I can barely put one foot in front of another in a direction that leads me away from him. No doubt I shall become more accustomed to this rhythm over time.
The good news is that Steve is stable. His heart is strong and his blood pressure has stabilized. Please pray that he does not get any infection or pneumonia as he recovers. The nurse says we can expect good days and bad days, one step forward and two steps back, and also our visits may or may not coincide with his less sedated periods, so we may not speak or interact at all in the few moments we have with him.

There is such a variety of recovery scenarios from truly horrific to relatively good, with the majority falling somewhere in between. As you may have heard, the doctor gave him just a 10% chance of ever regaining any meaningful use of his legs. I was quite frankly pleased with that statistic under the circumstances. However well it goes, this will likely be months, and there are many decisions to be made along to way. Do pray for wisdom for all of the family as we try to choose wisely. Aidan, Jude and even little Zephyr will most likely head down to the beach with Steve’s brother Mark and his family. They will be loved and playing in the sand. While my thoughts are not clear, I sense that this will be better for them than the trauma of what is happening here, even if they can have my presence. I am so grateful to Mark for providing that.

There is so very much to say, but most of all, I know in my deepest soul that God is GOOD and that he will bring forth something beautiful from this rubble. While the grief comes crashing down in waves, another part of me knows that a hand is holding me, and especially Steve, and my greatest prayer is that he will know that. Again, please pray Steve will breathe on his own. This is not just an issue for the ICU but for his life long term. Prayer is such wonderful medicine, and we so appreciate every one you can offer. And a silly little detail to end: no fresh flowers are allowed in ICU! Notes, pictures, cards, thoughts, verses are wonderful. We’re not there yet, but one day I will read them to Steve and I know it will buoy him tremendously.

With love, Michelle

Good morning all, here is the latest update.

Steve is still intubated, sedated, and calmer. He is in Intensive Care so visiting hours are short and sparse. The emotions of this are beginning to sink in for Michelle… she desperately wants to be with him but visiting times are short.

The doctor says that Steve has a 10% chance he’ll ever be able to regain any meaningful movement in his legs. He has gross motor movements in his arms, but no fine motor skills in his fingers.

She asks that everyone also please pray for the boys.

- Sean