The high road he has chosen

Posted on June 26, 2010 by Sean

25 June 2010 12 a.m.

Dearest friends and family,

I have the joy tonight of writing from Steve’s room! While Steve is being prepared for bed I have a few moments to get out of the nurse’s way and think of all of the wonderful people reading and praying with us.

I cannot tell you how much your wonderful words support and uplift me. I cannot lie. This has been a deeply challenging experience for me, and I truly rely on your prayers. But the full portion of suffering is Steve’s. I do not know how to even begin to describe the effort it takes to sustain each moment. Not only has he fought for each breath, but he suffers countless pokes, prods and indignities each day, all with a smile, a thanks, and a kindness toward others. While he will suffer many ups and downs in the months to come, he is choosing right now to remain positive in the darkest of circumstance, to pray and bless the lord, and to bless others. As I watch him endure, I am inspired to meet him on the high road he has chosen.

Our future is uncertain. We see dimly the road ahead. While we hope, we also prepare to persist through hardship beyond our imagining. For now, thanksgiving has been the key. In the ICU there is always a worse case, a terrible circumstance to remind us of how lucky we are. And truly, God is leading us through each step. To look too far ahead is to get dizzy with the heights we will climb. I am focused on each step, and Steve is also, with far more impressive courage and strength than my own.

It is almost midnight and Steve still has not slept. In all of my many hours and days with Steve, I have never seen more than a twenty minute stretch of sleep and today I have not seen a minute. The sleep deprivation contributes greatly to his disorientation. Please pray for a restful night, a sweet reprieve for both his body and spirit. I hope to sleep also, in his sweet presence.

As Paul said, I do not cease to give thanks for you.

Michelle

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  • john dettoni

    Marvelous contiued recovery. We are thankful for contiued progress and look forward to continued recovery. Steve is a fighter — evidence all over the place for the last several years in MNL. He amazes me with his continued positive attitude thru some difficult history and now thru this even more difficult time. There is nothing like a wounded healer — and that is what Steve will be. I can just imagine what he will be writing and teaching after this “…valley of the shadow of death!” Ah, where “I fear no evil for you are with me!!”
    john dettoni

  • john dettoni

    Michelle, remember the care giver must take care of the care giver; if not then the care giver cannot keep giving care!
    john dettoni

  • Toby

    Still here Michelle. Always with you guys, Toby and Chie

  • Mandiels

    Dear Brave Steve, Caring Michelle, Wonderful Family and Friends

    “How precious is Your unfailing love O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of Your wings. You feed them from the abundance of Your own house, letting them drink from Your river of delights. For You are the fountain of life, the light by which we see …” – Psalm 36:7-9

    May Steve and you both find shelter under the wings of the Most High God tonight, may you rest in His Illustrious presence as the daylight fades and allow the gentle breeze of His Holy Spirit to refresh and renew you both for the challenges of yet another day filled with uncertainty and surprises…

    God is the fountain of our lives and He will be your constant light as you walk with Him through the darkest of circumstance … He will faithfully feed you daily from the abundance of His house, nourish you with His amazing grace, His unfathomable wisdom and relentless love whilst submerging you in the river of His delights.

    Steadfast in prayer still …

    M

  • Tanya Trejo

    Michelle,
    i know how hard it can be to sleep in pain and in the hospital. I have an uncanny ability to sleep just about anywhere, almost always if I have half a mind to do it (2nd row at the Foofighters concert while they are playing or in a big chair)…anyway, tonight I am thinking thoughts to share this gift with Steve. On the rare occasions where I haven't been able to sleep, it has been really tough and you both have all my thoughts and prayers for a restful sleep.
    Tanya (Sonya's Sis)

  • Barbara Kline

    Michelle and Steve,
    We continue to pray for the journey now, and the journey before you. May the Lord bless and keep you, may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he lift up your countenance and give you peace.
    Praying especially for Peaceful sleep.
    All the Klines

  • Claire Skeggs

    Dear Michelle:
    Something I read today as I prayed for Pastor Steve, you, your 3 little boys, your family, everyone around you, your friends, and all of us as well — who are lifted up by Pastor Steve.

    I lift up my eyes to the hills–
    where does my help come from?
    My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

    He will not let your foot slip–
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
    indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

    The Lord watches over you–
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
    the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

    The Lord will keep you from all harm–
    he will watch over your life;
    the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.
    (Psalm 121)

    So, have a good sweet rest and sleep with Pastor Steve tonight by his bed. God is watching over….!

    We're still around….

    Claire Skeggs (and Andrew)

  • Deborahannegustafson

    Sleep.. What a blessed gift to the human body,mind and soul. Praying for sleep for Steve. Praying that yo Michelle will also get the sleep you need to walk this high road.

    You are a beautiful, amazing woman.

    love,

    deborah

  • http://www.thejeepney.com Bill Shaw

    Dear Pastor Steve and Michelle,

    Debbi and I are following, praying and hopeful in this journey you are facing. It has been a privilege for us to hear and be inspired by Steve's words and actions at Union Church of Manila. He is still speaking to us through your updates. They are poignant and inspiring. I can see Steve and he is encouraging to me, even now. That does not seem fair, but it is true. Thank you for sharing with us.

    Bill and Debbi Shaw

  • Jeff Ong

    Dear Pastor Steve and Michelle,

    I will always remember Pastor Steve's message about the burden of Christ in the olive garden of Gethsemane… That message has taught me how to lay all my burdens to Christ… Right now, my wife and I are deeply moved by your circumstances and faith. You are an amazing encouragement for us. We will continue to pray and to support you in whatever capacity we can.

    Jeff and Angie Ong, UCM Worshippers.

  • Shehuy93

    Pastor Steve is living a sermon. He is making his life a prayer.

    I'm praying with each update. God's grace and strength will be sufficient for each day.

    Blessings and hugs to you, my dear sister I've not yet met!

    shelley merritt, manila.

  • marcy nygaard

    Michelle,

    My haert aches for you not even allowing my mind to assess what you must see and what you have ahead of you. But I do know that your faith is the key and will hold you in a place with the Lord that none of us will be able to understand. It will truly be a God thing, these days ahead. All any of us out here in the emaill world can do is to pray. And I will pray. Your words bring all of us deeper into our own walk with God and I feel every time I open a new email from you that God is working on me too. My love for you sister I send today and know that many times you and your family come to mind every day and I pray. As many others do too, I am sure.

    Love in Christ,

    Marcy Nygaard

  • Eileen

    Michelle,

    I am sure the medical staff are sharing with you how important it is for you to get your rest so that you can be strong for Steve. It must be so hard to sleep for you too, but rest in the full knowledge that God will bless and keep each of you.

  • Sharon Black

    Ah sweet friend, I hope you BOTH got that much needed sleep. What a delight to be able to be in the room with him!

    As always, thinking constantly of you,
    Sharon

  • Kma Arnold

    We're so happy to hear Steve is getting a room– and you'll be able to visit, but as with everyones coments– both of you need your rest. Prayers for Steve for peace, rest & healing will continue. Prayers for you & your sons for peace, rest & strength will continue, too. Your words continue to inspire and help all of us that have you in our thoughts!

    Daniel 10:19
    And he said, “O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!”
    So when he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me.”

  • Heather Ruetschle

    Sent from a BSF friend, Carol Benoy, this blessed me:
    Today I'm praying from Lamentations 3 over them, especially 22-26:

    22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
    23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
    24 “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
    25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
    26 It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

    Romans 11: 33-36

    33 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
    34 “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?”
    35 “Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?”
    36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

    Psalm 121

    4 Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. S0–He's always watching over all–and we ask for the gift of sleep.
    7b he will keep your life. He is keeping Steve–and each of you.
    8 The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. Leave it all quietly, to the Lord, O my soul. (Psalm 62).
    Love you all, Heather

  • Cheryl Williams Johnson

    Praying for Steve to continue receiving the excellent care he has been given to date, for peaceful sleep, for a room out of the ICU (what a blessing) and for strength for Michelle for her continued journey!! God Bless You All.