For those wishing to send cards, the address for Steve at Harborview is:
Harborview Medical Center
Attn: Steve Ruetschle / Rm 457
325 Ninth Avenue
Seattle, WA 98104
Sleep last night was just ‘that’ much better; pain management is ‘that’ much better. Slow gains… but gains.
Thanks everyone for the continued prayer; it is needed and so welcome.
From Michelle. 3 July, 2010 6:30 p.m. PST.
Dear friends and family,
It has been a long day. Steve began the day tired, so while he rose to every occasion, he had few reserves in between. I am tired too. We continue to make strides: Steve managed to sit in a wheelchair today. By this I mean that he barely tolerated it, bravely pushing through a pain 10 out of 10 to sit for forty minutes or so.
Still, we managed to wheel him into the rehab gym, his first excursion out of his room, and a whole world of future possibilities – equipment, other patients, etc, which none of us had even known existed. The room has been our safe little hub from which we rarely come forth.
There has been much reality talk. Everything is about how to manage Steve’s current capacity. There is no sense yet, or assurance – scientifically or otherwise – of how much he could regain, so understandably, staff is working on what he can do now.
It is hard, however, not to get discouraged. At the moment, Steve has no ability to wiggle or curl or move his fingers. Using a wrist muscle he can cause some movement that he can leverage to do things. I find myself, today, however, simply wishing for his fingers to return. And I am asking you to join your prayers with mine for this.
I am still learning the balance between humble acceptance and hope. I feel called to hope. It is a vulnerable and frightening place, knowing that the outcome may not align itself with my desires. And yet not to hope is a small death of its own, of faith and of future.
So I will chose it carefully and tentatively, now, knowing that indeed God can do exceedingly more than we could ask for or imagine, but also knowing that his glory may shine forth even more powerfully in our brokenness.
For fingers,
Michelle
From Michelle. 2 July, 2010 10 a.m. PST
Dear friends and family,
What a road! It has been two weeks and one day since the accident. In the first twenty-four hours at Harborview, Steve was feeding himself and brushing his teeth. This morning I am told that he will be working on getting dressed! I cannot tell you how encouraging these small independent actions are to him. He is so highly motivated, however lack of sleep and pain continue to interfere with his rehab process. Please pray that his fever would subside, that the doctors would have unique wisdom as they concoct his pain management medications, and that tonight he would sleep like a babe!
Beside these independent triumphs, there are a host of other details, information and supports offered here that are already transforming our view as we look forward. We had a meeting with a psychologist that was extremely helpful in allowing Steve a space amidst all of the medical interventions to engage with his emotional process. Steve is a man uniquely able to know and express his inner life, as many of you know, and I think this will be an enormous advantage to his rehabilitative process. It was a holy moment, as Steve’s beautiful character shone forth in the midst of both reality and hope. We hope there will be many more. With the occupational and physical therapists, as well as recreational therapists (i.e. getting out of the hospital and having fun, while learning to negotiate the world in a wheelchair!), we are setting wonderfully intimate goals, like learning the movements for a few Wii games to play with the kids, and taking me out on a date.
We are learning about myriad wheelchair related issues, like what kind of measurements are needed to make a house wheelchair friendly, manual versus electric wheelchairs, etc. We are discussing childcare issues for the children. We are beginning to explore temporary living arrangements once Steve is out of intensive rehab . There is so much no one can predict. I wish I knew more about the future and could tell you all what to expect, however we are learning a great deal about trusting God with each day. He has been so very faithful with the details. While the work is enormous, if we do our part, we trust that God will do the rest. The physical therapist likened it to a car. As long as we keep it moving, God will be able to direct it as He wills. We are at His mercy. It is a good place to be.
As we laid in bed together this morning for a brief private and wakeful moment (these are few and far between!), I began to read to Steve from 2 Samuel 22: “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior… He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me… He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me because he delighted in me… This God, his way is perfect. He is a shield for those who take refuge in him… For who is God but the Lord? And who is a rock except our God? This God is my strong refuge and has made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me on secure heights… You gave me a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip.” Good words for this new day.
I leave you all, as your wonderful words, prayers and encouragements carry us both, with a single word: SLEEP!
Love,
Michelle
The following is from Sean.
First things first: Please pray for Steve’s fever. It continues. It’s not an extreme fever, but it continues to create discomfort. We’re awaiting lab tests to try to narrow down the source.
Transitioning to a new hospital, with so many new faces and an entirely new rhythm, is also a challenge. It’s also still a continuing challenge to dial in a new pain management cocktail.
Sleep is also an issue, and of course all of this in inter-related… the pain, fever, and difficulty sleeping all combine to create a background context of ongoing discomfort.
Steve has also had a really good day; loving the fact that all three of his nurses were Filipina. He spoke to each of them in tagalog.
The daily regimen is intense. It’s clear this is a place not only to heal, but also to work. In addition to both physical and occupational therapy sessions, Steve had a first weekly consult with the entire rehab team; including the chair of the department. They discussed tangible goals, ways to measure progress, and answered good questions from both Steve and Michelle.
And more progress: Steve brushed his teeth and ate two entire meals by himself. The OT put a small strap around his hand with an insert to hold either a fork or toothbrush, and with that simple set-up Steve was able to, in his words “feel human again.”
Also, after a few brief experiments with visitors today, it has become clear that Steve really needs to conserve every ounce of his strength. It’s simply going to take time to establish a rhythm and regain strength.
We’ll see how he feels as we go, but for now Steve has asked that he simply be given a week before receiving visitors.
The reality remains: it has been a mere two weeks since the accident… two major surgeries… an air ambulance flight across the country… and now a first day of rehab. Let’s give him time, knowing that being able to see and enjoy visitors is actually a good goal to reach for and look forward to.
And… all that said… Steve had a really good day. He’s going for it.
July 1, 2010 6:30 a.m.
Dear friends and family,
We are here! Seattle is welcoming us with open arms. I must depart from Steve for a moment to tell you about our home.
We had fortunately kept a house here in Seattle all of these years. Just three months ago, we had trouble finding new renters and after much consideration, were preparing it for sale. We therefore had the floors redone and were beginning to have it repainted at the time of the accident. Having been rented for five years and unoccupied for months, the house was in terrible shape.
A team of people have collectively transformed it into what literally looks like a Pottery Barn catalog, with a thousand thoughtful touches.
We have an entire home full of brand new furniture – couch sets, coffee table, beds, nightstands, dining table and best of all, a brand new bunk bed for the boys! There is even brand new outdoor furniture! Yes, we are lavishly spoiled. There are homey touches: fresh flowers, framed photographs of our family in every room and on the fridge, freshly baked cookies. There are toys for the boys, pots and pans, toiletries and fresh towels. No details has been overlooked in outfitting our house so beautifully! The garden is planted with flowers and has never looked better.
I am literally OVERWHELMED at the thought, effort, detail and lavish love that has been poured into our home. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I am especially grateful as I think about welcoming the boys there. While it will not be familiar, it will be a most excellent place to adjust to their new reality and rhythm of life while Steve is in full time intensive rehab.
Please pray as we move forward. The house is not wheelchair accessible and we will need to plan ahead for the initial out patient rehab phase. Future questions of course loom large. At this point we are taking things one step at a time, trusting for each day’s portion.
Today, Steve has his first scheduled day of rehab. The day is full. He has six appointments scheduled for today, between 8:45 a.m. and 5:15 p.m. It will literally be difficult to schedule in time for visits!
Once a week, the family will meet with all of the folks involved in his care, and today will be our first such appointment. I anticipate further news and guidance on what to expect at that time.
Steve still struggles with sleep and pain. He did not sleep until 3 a.m. last night, when I finally crawled right into that hospital bed beside him, and we both feel asleep together! I am grateful to the nurses for allowing me to stay.
Today I hold fast to the following verse: “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen!” Phil4:19-20
Love,
Michelle
From Sean. 4:19pm PST.
Steve and Michelle arrived via air ambulance at 12:30pm; they were admitted to Harborview with no problems; Steve is exhausted, but resting (in between nurses and doctors, of course). Prayer requested for his fever… it continues.
He also gave everyone a gift. On the first exam with the doctor Steve moved three toes for the first time… 1 on his right, and 2 on his left.
Steve is in pain, exhausted, still in the throes… and… it’s Steve. Right here. The Steve we know and love. And Michelle… well, everything everyone has said about her on this blog and in email, it’s all true.
I’ve had three realities in my heart over the last several days:
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares.” ~ Henri Nouwen
“…there is in God, some say, a deep but dazzling darkness.” ~ Henry Vaughn
“In this world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer; for I have overcome the world.” ~ Jesus of Nazareth
Dear friends and family,
I am sitting in a tiny lear jet, cruising over the flat plains of South Dakota where we will land to refuel the aircraft before proceeding to Seattle.
Though I had little sleep last night, I am feeling vigilant, watching over Steve as he sleeps next to me, looking out to the patchwork of fields below, and giving thanks for this part of the journey.
The airplane is a tiny but powerful vehicle, barely fitting its passengers and the one bag I was allowed to bring on board, but jetting smoothly through the air unlike the prop planes I have flown in the past. Conversation is almost impossible above the sound of the engines, and so it is an excellent time to reflect.
Steve continues to be in pain, however sleep offers its sweet reprieve more and more often, and his abnormal levels of medicinally induced paranoia and anxiety are a thing of the past.
Each day has been its own full portion, and so I know little abut what lies ahead. There will be much to learn in the rehabilitation process, but I believe that Steve and I are ready.
My verse for today is from psalm 27:1,5,13-14, “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?… For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock… I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage. Wait for the Lord!”
Love,
Michelle
UPDATE: PS We just landed in Pierre, South Dakota. I discovered from the nurses that they do NOT have Steve’s particular cocktail of pain medications, even though we inquired repeatedly with his nurse at the hospital and were reassured that they would. They do have some pain medications, however most of these are ones Steve reacted to adversely or with some side effects in the past. Please pray that he would continue to sleep peacefully as we travel on, and that his pain would not be overly severe. Thank you!
From Mike:
Prayer request answered, Steve awoke this morning and his fever subsided. The transport team arrive as scheduled, transferred Steve to a stretcher, and wheeled him out the door to an ambulance. A tear rolled down my cheek as the ambulance drove off heading to the awaiting jet at the Asheville airport.
This officially ends Phase 1, which has been accident, trauma, transport, two surgeries, and stabilization. As this phase has now closed, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to so many of you who have been heroes during this time.
So thank you (in no particular order) to the first responders from the National Park and EMT team who helped Steve after the crash, and the helicopter transport team who flew him to Memorial Mission in Asheville NC.
Thank you to the Rob and Bill from the motorcycle trip who made sure I got to the hospital as quickly as possible.
Thank you to Dr. Rhoton, neurologist, who performed emergency anterior surgery on Steve’s broken neck.
Thank you to the ICU team of critical care nurses and trauma docs who helped Steve through breathing issues and pneumonia as he was stabilizing.
Thank you to Dr. Rhoton again for performing his posterior surgery, bone graft, and metal rod insertion so Steve will have structural integrity in his neck.
Thank you to all the nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists, respiratory therapists, and acupuncturist who helped Steve during his stabilization period in the trauma unit.
Thank you to Mark Ruetschle (Steve’s brother) who dropped everything to drive Michelle to North Carolina from Ohio in the most extreme of circumstances when Steve’s immediate condition was not clear.
Thank you to Kim Ruetschle (Steve’s sister) who herself a critical care nurse was able to decipher the bells buzzers and beeps in the ICU and ensure the family that the care Steve was receiving was excellent.
Thank you to David Van Leeuwen (Michelle’s brother) himself a doctor with experience in emergency medicine who helped the family digest the technical aspects of Steve’s condition, took care of Michelle, and provided much needed logistical support in developing and implementing an action plan for moving Steve forward.
Thank you to Union Church of Manilla, Pastor Steve’s home church, for their grace, prayer, and support from half a world away. I’m especially grateful for the grace of the Church Council, pastors Mark and Scott, and all of the coordinating and administration work done by Lucy and Dix.
Thank you to the family, John and Darlene Ruetschle (Steve’s mom and dad), Mark Ruetschle, Kim Ruetschle, and Greg Fessel for being there to provide support to Steve, Michelle, and one another.
Thank you to John and Darlene Ruetschle also for providing loving support for Steve’s children until their transition to Seattle.
Thank you to Laura Ruetschle (Steve’s sister in law) and all the cousins who took Aiden, June and Zephyr to the beach for the week so Michelle could focus on Steve.
Thank you to my beautiful wife Heather Ruetschle, who has so graciously held down the fort at my wild house with three young children, so I can be in Asheville to be with Steve and help.
Thank you to Greg Fessel for his research and recommendations on the best plan for medical transport to Seattle.
Thank you to Sean Dimond (friend of Steve and Michelle’s from Seattle) who, together with the invaluable blog work by Paul and Janece Moment, has given innumerable hours creating and providing the backbone for a vast communications network that has stretched around the globe. Thanks to Sean also for being the point person on the Seattle transition team that has already done mighty work to receive Steve and his family.
Thanks to Tiffany Megargee (friend of Steve and Michelle’s in Seattle) who works at Harborview, and who helped research information on rehabilitation facilities around the country, as well as help pave the way for admittance to Harborview.
Thanks to Rob Van Leeuwen (Michelle’s dad) who provided a clutch personal connection to the President of Blue Cross Phillipines, who helped provide significant insurance assistance.
Thank you to Lena Van Leeuwen (Michelle’s sister in law) who facilitated legal council on insurance issues and issues pertaining to the forthcoming Steve Ruetschle Special Needs Fund.
Thanks to Richenda Van Leeuwen (Michelle’s step mom) who has provided lots of background information on possibilities to maximize benefits to Steve once in Washington State.
Thank you to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle for agreeing to receive Steve today.
Thank you to Michelle, a women who I have seen undergo unimaginable stress, and who is the strongest woman I know, provide constant love and affection for Steve. Thank you Michelle for your gift of writing that has kept all of us informed and inspired.
Thank you Steve, for your courage, faith, and unspeakable inspiration to us all.
Thank you to everyone around the world (41,698 page hits at time of this writing from 67 different countries) who have rallied together to pray for and encourage Steve and the entire family.
And lastly that you God, for taking care of Steve during this time, for hearing our prayers, and for helping each of us unite around your beautiful child, Steve Ruetschle.
Pray for Steve who is in flight as we speak. He is excited to go to Seattle, but also still in a great deal of pain, and understandably nervous about the long road of rehab that lies ahead.
Mike Ruetschle
29 June, 2010 9:40 p.m.
Dear friends and family,
How grateful I have been for your prayers that helped to carry us so far! On the eve of our departure to Seattle, I look back with disbelief at the last 11 days, and remember Steve’s condition when I first saw him in the ICU. The hills and valleys we have traversed since that fateful day have taken us to an entirely new landscape and yet as we move to Seattle we will also be surrounded by the familiar and the dear. We can’t wait!
A quick prayer request, and one more hill to climb prior to our departure. Tonight Steve has developed a fever of 101.7. Please pray that Steve would sleep well and that in the night Steve’s fever would subside and he would be in excellent shape for travel tomorrow. A doctor has been notified and we pray that nothing would come in the way of our best hopes and plans to be in Seattle tomorrow. At the same time, we will trust that God’s plans are the best.
We hope to fly on wings of good health!
Grateful, always,
Michelle
This post is from Sean, following up on the last post from Mike.
Last night at 10:00pm EST Mike received a call from Harborview officially confirming Steve’s admittance. As Mike alluded to, there have been heroic efforts behind the scenes by many to make this possible. This confirmation of admittance is a huge relief and answer to prayer for both Steve and Michelle.
They come to Seattle grateful for how the larger community has already begun preparing for their arrival; they know they will be supported through this next season.
Over the last 10 days (has it only been 10 days?) I’ve received many emails from people all over the world, offering to help; offering to visit; and offering to donate funds.
Thank you.
Following are a few practical details to respond to those offers, and to help set the stage for Steve and Michelle’s arrival.
VOLUNTEERS:
If you are interested in providing volunteer help for the Ruetschles, please send email to steve.volunteer@gmail.com. Let us know what you’d like to provide, and include your contact info. We will compile a database of resources to draw from as needed, and while we may not be able to respond to every offer we’ll use this database as a local resource network.
FUNDS
Thank you to all those who have already emailed asking to financially contribute.
A Special Needs Trust is being set up as I type. It will take approximately one week to put everything into place, at which time we will announce several methods of contributing.
It is hard to accurately articulate the life-altering nature of a quadriplegic injury… however the extraordinary outpouring of support and love from so many around the world already demonstrates that each of you in your heart can empathize with the pain, dislocation, and need that exists.
As you continue to support Steve and Michelle in prayer; as you continue to offer your encouraging words; please also stay tuned for ways you can help strengthen their healing journey by also meeting the tangible, physical needs that will arise.
VISITS
We all know that community support–your presence–will play a major part of Steve’s rehabilitation. However in these first several weeks, we are asking that people please respect the space the family needs to enter and adjust into the rhythm and focus of intentional rehabilitation work.
I would kindly ask that visitors please not show up at Harborview unannounced. This is not at all to dissuade anyone from their desire to connect with Steve and Michelle. We simply want to manage this process as best as possible so Steve and Michelle are not overwhelmed with a flood of visitors.
So for now, please give the family time to adjust and establish a rhythm, and if you have any special visitation requests, send email to steve.volunteer@gmail.com.
