4 July, 2010 7 p.m.
Dear friends and family,
Today was a quiet day, a welcome interlude between the busy front of therapy visits and the daily deluge of administrative details. Quiet is relative, as Steve needs to be turned every two hours to avoid bed sores, have his vitals checked, take his meds and reintroduce himself to each nurse as they begin their shift.
Nevertheless, in a manner of speaking, we sabbathed; on my part, resolving not to make a single major decision (and there are many to be made!), and on his part, giving his body and mind a break from all of the details of self care and exercises related to therapy.
Steve continues to struggle with pain, and repeatedly states that this is his most immediate prayer request. Pain is a constant companion, dictating how long he can bear to sit up to eat a meal; how much attention he can give to a conversation and most importantly; how much he can work on exercising and moving his body in order to regain strength and mobility.
Steve’s spirit remains strong, however, both in his ability to be kind and humorous in the midst of his body’s paralysis and discomfort, and in his ability to face and process his grief. In a true expression of his lovely heart, his greatest pain is the effect of this accident on myself and the children.
Thank God for technology! Today we spent lovely time with the children from the comfort of our bed, a computer propped on my lap, aimed at the pillow where our heads rested together. The children are well, full of stories of time with their cousins and the wonders of Wii and DS games (yes, we have broken all rules and allowed them to have both!). Even little Zephyr smiles and giggles at the screen delightfully, showing us his favorite toys, happy to see us but seemingly not all too distressed by our distance. God has been so good to keep their emotions so mercifully protected.
As I attempt to sabbath, I remember Jesus’ invitation, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” In the midst of the chaos, I sometimes forget to rest in that sweet shade of love. Now that we are briefly alone, I think that I will crawl in with Steve and do just that.
As we rest, please pray, as Steve asks, for his pain to be beautifully, miraculously lifted. Steve also has a blood clot in his leg. They are not alarmed but they are watching it. I pray that when they check again, it will be gone.
Steve’s fevers also come and go. I pray for rest for him from these extraneous battles so that he may fight the most immediate one, that of recovering as much movement as he can.
I find myself longing for a hopeful sign, a wiggling finger, and curling toe, to assure us that God is at work. I am reminded, however, to wait on the Lord. “Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall rise up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31. My restless, exhausting urge for progress must be laid at God’s feet, as I rest in His goodness working even now. There is much for me to learn!
Please also pray for the details this week: a wheelchair accessible home ready and waiting in 6 to 8 weeks, clarity with the host of financial decisions, and wisdom as we navigate the systems surrounding disability. Our situation is so terribly complex as we seek to build a temporary home away from our real home in Manila, and as we navigate the US system with Philippine insurance coverage.
God has been faithful thus far, and I look forward to seeing what He does! In the meantime, we will rest and sabbath together for the few precious hours of downtime before nightfall.
Happy fourth of July to everyone!
Love,
Michelle