Holding fast

From Michelle. 16 July, 2010 10 p.m.

Dear friends and family,

It has been one month and one day since the accident. I remember all too well the long seven hour drive down to Asheville, when each phone call brought worse and worse news. The past few days have been a welcome reversal of that trend, as tiny movements portend greater hopes. Even the smallest amount of mobility can make all the difference for Steve’s quality of life; a pointer and thumb with which to grip more effectively, and even more wondrously, a few leg muscles that might convert into some possible leg movement one day. We can only see as far as each moment, and accept these sweet movements as the gifts that they are in and of themselves. And tomorrow will bring what it brings. This morning, though, I was almost singing.

Today another thumb woke up a bit, and Steve felt his regular morning shot into the belly as ‘sharp’ (instead of ‘dull’) for the first time, a type of sensation (dull vs sharp) that may prove promising. For these additional increments of hope we are thankful!

We also have a prayer request. Steve has had a fever on and off all day today, and ended the day especially high. His nurses are here now (at 10pm) to wake him and take blood samples. Please pray for his good health.

We feel so richly cared for in so many ways. From the food in our freezer to the people watching our children to the many wonderful notes, and a few cherished visits, love abounds even here. Our faith stretches not only to our hopes for physical healing but to the many details that still lie ahead, from home care to insurance to the right school for our children. My time is scarce and lately I can only accomplish one or two major tasks in a day along those lines, but I know that God is walking ahead of me with sure feet, even when I am staggering. My verses today come from Psalm 91:14-15: “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him, I will protect him because he knows my name. When he calls to me I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble.”

A long time ago I spoke about how I had felt led to pray and reflect on Philippians 4:4-9 at the beginning of our trip. Today I was remembering the latter verses: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” There is much that is beautiful growing in the cracks of Steve’s broken body. Mostly, it is love.

With thanksgiving,

» Click here to enter your well-wishes for Steve in the Guestbook This entry was posted in General Updates. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Susan Sanders

    Michelle, that is my favorite enry so far. Very beautiful and inspirational. Your wonderful spirit really shines along with Steve's.

  • Amandavermeulen

    yay God! fingers…..

  • Patricia Bentz


    Thank you SO much for sharing each and every tidbit of information with all of us so we know how to pray for and with you. We are walking with you . . . breath by breath.

    Part of your vast prayer team,

  • Olive Hafenstein

    Thank you for blessing the body of Christ all over the world in the midst of your pain. You share from your heart so beautifully. In the month and one day that this website's been up, who can accurately account for the many lives that have been touched by the spirit-breathed words flowing from it. I know my own journey of faith has been immensely blessed by the continuing updates. Praise God for each and every ray of hope, every little twitch and your steadfastness to just focus on the moment than be lost in the unknown of the future. The future is secure because we know Who holds it. We pray on…
    Olive Hafenstein
    Townsville Central City Mission
    North Qld, Australia

  • Elizabeth

    Dear Michelle, Each note from you is like you ministering to us of God' s faithfulness grace and mercy. My heart goes out to you and cry with you. We missed Pastor Steve very much and we are continually praying for him. Our God is a merciful God and he hears prayer and answers prayer in the most mysterious ways. I remembered when our family were chemically poisoned and the doctor in the ER said my daughter might die, at that moment God gave me the special courage and faith in Him and I put my full trust in Him knowing no one else can heal my daughter except Him. I prayed with my daughter and told her that God alone will heal her and He did. I praise God for He is always there for us and He loves us so much more than we really know. Everything may seemed a little blurry now but someday when wesee God face to face everything will become clear. He will never leave you nor forsake you . Be strong and have courage.

  • Chitvillegas_ctv

    Continuing to walk with you Michelle and Pastor steve in prayers…and yes I say Amen to your Psalm 91:14-15…. it is amazing how you are demonstrating to us what it means to live in trust each day.

    chit villegas
    Door of hope Makati

  • Becky Allender

    Michelle, your words are words of life. Thank you for the time you devote to keeping us connected to you and Steve and to Jesus and how real He is! Thank you for knowing scripture and using it as a two-edged sword to lead the battle cry on behalf of Steve. We bless you and hold you daily in our prayers without ceasing for Steve. You elevate the holiness of marriage as you fight through faith, hope and love. You call us to remember to much…God's faithfulness and His presence to the needs of three dear boys. Blessings to you, Michelle, you and Steve are one, know that we carry you in our hearts and prayers too.

  • Kennedyannm

    Michelle, to deal with one or two big issues a day on top of everything else is amazing. Don't be too hard on yourself God is sending you a lot of strength and everyone is sending lots of prayers and love.
    Take care.

  • Jodi Durr

    Philippians 4:4-9 is actually a verse I hold dear and quote to myself often, and I know it well because of Steve. When I wanted to teach myself to play the guitar he gave me a number of songs, and this verse was one of the songs….I believe it was a song he wrote, but I can't say for sure. Prior to the accident, I have thought about Steve a number of times when I'm thinking of this verse. Now, it is just a reminder to pray. I also use seeing a motercyclist as an opportunity to lift up your family also. We rejoice that there is hope in seeing his fingers move. We will continue to pray for your family…for healing, for the details, for fingers. We send our love! Jeremy & Jodi Durr

  • DebbieSpitler -SDart

    Prayers coming your way!